Growing Snyders

Upson Downs

2010-01-12T23:34:00.000-08:00

At this point, I've been at this Motherhood thing long enough to know that there are peaks and valleys in one's confidence level. And to recognize that I am now in a valley.
That old cliche of "As soon as you think you've got them figured out, they go and change things on you" is laughing in my face this week. Ever since graduating from the phase of I-am-going-to-scream-my-head-off-unless-you-walk-me-around-the-house-from-six-to-ten-pm, she has been relatively easy to get to bed. Bath, PJs, cuddle, nurse, rock, crib. Somewhere between 9 and 10 pm.
No more.
Current theories include maybe-she's-teething, maybe-she's-congested, maybe-she-needs-more-food, and maybe-she-just-needs-sleep-training.
I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and eventually I'll explain my two month long absence. Hopefully I am back for good ;-)

Happy November!

2009-11-02T17:08:00.000-08:00

At the Harvest Festival

Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?

I love day care!

A Day In The Life...

2009-10-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

I would challenge all the other mother bloggers out there to do this exercise...it's highly amusing, if nothing else!

11pm Out running. About a mile or so only, up and down the bike path.

11:30pm Eva went down at 10:30, as is her custom. As is my custom, I am still up. Lately, though, instead of watching bad television or rereading Harry Potter, I am working for the office. They have me on part-time until I go back November 2nd.

2am I pump while reading the third book of the Harry Potter series.

2:30am I am finally asleep.

6:30am Holy cow she slept eight hours! You go girl! As usual, I am somehow magically awakened by her miniscule little peeps and hand-sucking sounds over the baby monitor. Last year it would have taken an act of God to wake me up at 6am. This year, it takes .005 decibels from the mouth of a 15-pounder. I throw on pajama pants, pee, and go into her room to nurse in the chair.

6:50am Back in bed.

9:30am BAM! She is cooing over the monitor, I am awake, and it feels like I just closed my eyes. I swear, I rolled over to look at the clock completely expecting it to say 6:51am. So even though I have had 7.5 hours of sleep, somehow I feel INCREDIBLY tired. I make my side of the bed, throw on my trusty pj pants, pee (again), and retrieve my gorgeous girl. I curse myself for buying Pampers instead of Huggies since the overnight diapers don't have this nifty pocket at the back to catch the pee. I'll have to change the crib sheet again later. After a quick diaper change, clothing change, and a dose of her baby Zantac, we lay down with our heads at the foot of the bed so I can nurse her from my right side, since I used the left at 6:30.

9:30am-11:30am We lie around in a semi-sleep state, nursing and dozing. Eventually she is pretty bright-eyed, cooing, and playing with her hands. I lie next to her, talking and playing.

12pm The family is all up now (how lazy!!!) After another diaper change we are sitting in the living room with Dad. I try to nurse her but she is not really interested. She plays on her quilt on the floor while Dave and I eat cereal and drink coffee.

1:30pm We are finally showered and ready to go. Dave needs a new battery in his car and I need the tinting on my front windows redone. This is our grand plan for the day. After jumping his car to start it, we set off for Sears. (I am following him in case he stalls). Alas, the automotive center there is no more. We head back home. On the way, Eva is fussy.

2:15pm I figure maybe she is hungry now. Near our house, I pull over in a residential neighborhood and get in the back seat to nurse her. Dave hops in the back seat too (with his car still running) and we discuss where to go next. Eva is still popping on and off and not nursing well. We decide to split up and Dave takes off for Pep Boys. While I am still trying to nurse in the backseat, I notice that a VERY crotchety-looking elderly woman is staring at my car. Then she walks over with a piece of paper and writes down my license plate number. She is too far away for me to yell "HEY! I am just NURSING MY FREAKIN' BABY HERE, not doing drug deals with my husband!" Then a UPS truck pulls up RIGHT NEXT TO MY CAR. When he leaves, a delivery van pulls up across the street. Every time someone gets within 5 feet of the car, I get nervous they are going to wonder why it is running when seemingly no one is in it. I imagine the UPS guy's reaction when he puts his face to the back window and sees me nursing. I imagine the Burbank Police surrounding my car and demanding that I come out immediately, and me trying to put my boob away before they draw their weapons.

I decide it is far too busy and aggravating trying to nurse here.

3pm I am up the block from the tinting place (mind you, it is 3 minutes from my house). Eva was STILL fussy back there, and I really thought I ought to give nursing ONE MORE TRY. After all, she really hasn't eaten since probably 11 or so. When I pull her out of the carseat, I realize she needs another diaper change. I pull the pedestrian seat as far forward as it will go and get her undressed on the floor of the backseat. My phone, which I had set on the center console in case Dave called, vibrates off the console and onto Eva's HEAD. She is now crying like I have cut off a limb. Tears are streaming down her face. After a very gruff phone interchange with Dave, I hang up, get the diaper on, and pick her up to comfort her. I get us in the back seat and try to nurse again. Still not interested. Still crying.

3:15pm I make it to the tint place. I extract my crying baby from the car, get her in the stroller and hand my keys over to the dude. I walk up the street to the sandwich shop, where Dave and I have planned to meet later. She's still crying. I order my sandwich. She's still crying. Luckily there is enough white noise and people noise in this place that no one much cares. The guy making my sandwich informs me he has seven children. I say "God bless your wife. Oh, and you too ;-)" I sit down at a short counter. She's still crying. My mom calls. I can't really hear her. I'm trying to rock the stroller with one hand while talking on the phone. I tell her I'll have to catch up later. Now I'm rocking the stroller with my foot while I eat my sandwich. Her eyes are REALLLLLYYY droopy. Come on kid, please...

3:20pm She's asleep. As further proof that God loves me, there is a Los Angeles Times next to my seat with the crossword puzzle intact. I actually finish it and enjoy my sandwich before she wakes up...at

4pm Okay, NOW she's hungry. If she sucked on her hands any harder, they would come out of her neck. I contemplate nursing in the sandwich shop (under a cover, of course). No one in here but me and the 3 teenagers behind the counter. Awkward. I decide to go see how my car has come along.

4:15pm They're done! I pay and race home to feed her. Comfortably, privately, in our new rocking chair. Yay.

4:30-6pm Dave handles Eva while I do more work for the office. My cousin had earlier invited me out to sushi, so...

6:30pm Sushi dinner. Yum. She still has not managed a nap since the one at 3 o'clock. As such, she's kind of fussy, but still not too bad. She takes a 3oz bottle but still seems hungry. I try to nurse under a cover in the booth, but not interested. Picky. I realize she is wet through her clothes. Dave and I do joint diaper duty and clothes changing on top of the toilet in the men's room (it's bigger than the women's but still has no counter space).

7:45pm She's super fussy. Dave takes her for a walk in the stroller around the strip mall and meets us at Menchie's for froyo. Eva is finally asleep!

8:40pm We are home. Bath time! PJ time! Book reading! Watching Jeopardy while nursing in rocking chair.

10pm Final nursing session in her room. Lots of cuddles, wait for her to fall asleep in my arms. Transfer her to crib. She wakes up. I decide to leave and see if she will put herself back to sleep.

10:30pm Success! A little fussing, but not a peep over the monitor anymore.

11pm Watch bad television.

11:30pm Blog.

12am Most likely, more work for the office. And...repeat. My big goals for tomorrow are to get flu shots and deposit some checks.

Should take about 4 hours, I figure.

The Good Stuff

2009-09-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright. Enough whining. You all want to hear about how awesome it is to be a new mom, right? Right. So here is my familiar list-tastic breakdown of things that rock about being Eva's mommy.

1. She's freakin' adorable. I don't mean to brag here, but seriously...strangers stop me...ALL...THE...TIME. Eat your heart out.

2. Baby falling asleep on you. Can we say accomplishment? Sense of pride? Peacefulness, calmitudiny (it's a word) and love? There's nothing more awesome at this point in my life than going from free-for-all screamfest to calm, quiet babyness. Sure sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes she wakes up five minutes later, but sometimes it goes okay, and I can't even bring myself to put her down in her bassinet because, well, see number 1.

3. Her accomplishments. Like the day I set the rattle on top of her legs in her carseat, just so I wouldn't forget to bring it with us, turned around for a second and heard...a rattling noise! My baby, who will of course now forever be referred to as genius baby, PICKED IT UP AND RATTLED IT. Genius.

4. Baby clothes. They're cute. I like picking them out. I like dressing her. I can't believe it, but I do. It's like playing with barbies again or something. Disgusting, I know.

5. SMILES. They're...um...awesome. Seriously. Like looking in the face of god or something. I can't explain it. They always seem to come out right when you really need one, too.

6. Being a grown-up. I think you could also label this one "sense of purpose." I've been kind of...floating around for a while. Questioning things. Never really feeling "old enough" for my life. My house. My job. Now I'm completely responsible for A LIFE. Kind of snaps you to attention...like, hey, you're the adult. Get over yourself, dig deep, find some goddamn patience and rock this kid to sleep for the fiftieth time. And while you're at it, ignore the spit-up dribbling down your back and into your shorts.

7. Loving my husband. Never before have we been partners in something so difficult. Before Eva, we had renovated almost every square inch of our house together (an activity inherently fraught with conflict), fought about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, thrown things, yelled, cursed, stormed off, driven off, you name it. Since Eva, even small fights are easily diffused with...I'm so goddamn stressed out by this kid I can't afford to be mad at you. Let's just work together, ask nicely, give each other lots of hugs, and tackle it. I can't tell you how helpless I felt in the weeks after giving birth, and I must say Dave truly stepped into high gear. He is my lifesaver and my rock, and I don't know what I would do without him.

8. Nursing. I know, I know, the "breastfeeding sucks" post. Well, it's better. Yes, sometimes it's still a little overwhelming (especially when I suspect another growth spurt and we're nursing every hour again). But the majority of the time now, it feels natural, calming, and easy. I guess there are hormones involved that are determined to make you feel motherly and peaceful. Well, sometimes they work. I just wish there were a private room with a comfy rocking chair everywhere I went in the world, then life would be perfect.

9. Looking forward to stuff. As unfathomable as it is to me at times, someday she'll walk, and talk, and ask for help on homework, and cry about boys, and graduate college, and get married, and have babies. She'll always be my girl, and I look forward to all of it.

10. Ricky Gervais has this really funny standup routine about a postcard with 10 suggestions on it, and how ridiculous #10 is just so it would have an even number of things. I can't explain it in mixed company, but trust me, it's hilarious. Anyway, there is no #10, I just wanted to type it.

First Time?

2009-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Remembering back to when I was pregnant, I think about the questions people would ask when they ventured to talk to me about the impending contents of my belly. It usually started with "Boy or girl?" and then continued to "When are you due?" I realize now that when the questions came from people who had kids of their own, the conversation almost always ended with..."First one?"

I think I now realize why.

I hope those people saw the beaming pride on my face when I answered "Yes," turned around and said a silent prayer for me (and Dave, if he was with me). But more likely, I think they walked off with their toddler or young child or children and thought, "She has no idea what she's in for..." And it's true, I didn't. The truth is, no one does.

No matter how many books you read, moms you talk to, newborns you've babysat, NOTHING prepares you for parenthood. Not really. I think it would have been helpful, though, if people had opened up about some hard truths that come with the job. Maybe people are too polite. Maybe they are afraid to admit some of this. Maybe they are afraid of scaring already-stressed-out pregnant women. Or maybe they truly don't remember.

Here's my random account of actual thoughts I have had (some I still have) while learning to be Eva's mom.

I wish I could just drop her off at the fire station and get back to my "normal" life. Too bad everyone would judge me so harshly.

I hate 90% of what it means to be a Mom. It's the most boring, annoying, ungratifying job I've ever had in my life.

I am a worthless, worthless human being who desperately wanted to bring this person into the world and now wishes she hadn't, and I am about to permanently screw up her life.

EVERYTHING is my fault.

I CANNOT WAIT to go back to work/give her over to daycare.

She will never grow up. She will always be this uncommunicative, demanding, whiny, sleepless, annoying creature who only occasionally smiles at me to make up for all of it. Oh, but when she smiles...

I could come up with more, but you get the idea. THIS IS HARD. Not so much physically, although that is part of it, and I do wish I got more deep sleep. (Even when she sleeps well, I do not.) This is perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I have run marathons, sailed through South America in a small boat with no bathroom, and spent many many sleepless nights in pursuit of my college degree.

I'm sure there are some women who sail through these days with way more aplomb than I have. I know that more exposure to newborns could have prepared me, and lowered my expectations for what maternity leave could be like. Having talked to several moms after giving birth, however, I think there are ugly truths that all of us have come to hide. I think there is a fundamental breaking down of your personality, your relationships, and your life as you have come to know it. I think when you emerge from this newborn phase and start to rebuild all of that, it becomes something completely new...it becomes your life as a parent. And I think the only thing I have really learned and sincerely do believe after the last 10 weeks is...

The first one is the hardest.

Ode To Eva

2009-08-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Trying on shorts in the mall. You let out one of your man-sized farts. I laugh maniacally and let the ladies in Ann Taylor Loft think it's me. Whatever.

You spit up while eating. This means baby barf on my boobs. Whatever.

Most of the time, I think I smell like a curdled goat. Whatever.

You left me with two stretchmarks and a wiggly tummy. Whatever.

For some reason, I now have acne like I did when I was 14. Whatever.

I haven't slept for longer than 4 hours at a time since...oh even a month before you were born. Whatever.

My car is dirty, my clothes are dirty, my house is dirty, my hair is dirty, yet I have the cleanest floors in the world because you like the sound of the vacuum. So whatever.

I miss you when you're sleeping.

Your smiles make me cry.

I wouldn't trade this torture for anything in the world.

Whatsoever.

Pardon the Pun

2009-08-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

Ever googled the words "breastfeeding sucks"? No? Then maybe you have never been a breastfeeding mom...or maybe you are one of the lucky few that has found it to be the most natural, beautiful experience imaginable--from the very beginning. My mom falls into this category. So either I was the easiest baby ever, or she just forgot how much this...well...sucks.
I have googled that combination many times in the last 6 weeks, and luckily found that I am not alone in this assertion. I actually wish I had managed to write posts while I was going through the agony that has brought me this far into the process. I remember thinking many times "Women need to be warned. They need to KNOW how much this (forgive me for repeating myself) SUUUUCCCKKS." I will do my best to recollect my experiences here, in the hopes that it can help someone out there who, like me, just cannot believe that something devised by nature, this supposedly perfect system that exists to nourish your baby, can be so infuriatingly UNnatural.
At first it didn't seem so bad. They put my baby girl on my chest after delivery, I aimed her head at my boob, she latched on, she looked happy. "Okay, here we go,"I thought "...breastfeeding."
My first inkling that things would not be quite so easy was maybe the...oh I don't know...fourth or fifth time I latched my baby on. This fricking hurt. Was this supposed to hurt? Well I remembered reading something about needing your nipples to 'toughen up'. Which sounds horrendous in and of itself, but, you know, I just gave birth for god's sake, what's a little nipple pain right? So really, even when day three rolled around in the hospital and I was gritting my teeth and holding my breath through every latch, I was still down with breastfeeding.
The fun part is, the literature all tells you that you need to wake your baby every 3 hours to feed, in order to successfully establish breastfeeding. So while all you want to do is sleep, and your tiny little drowsy baby is actually more than happy to comply at this point, here I am setting my cell phone to go off every three hours in order to stick my nipple into a jar of knives...oh I mean, to feed her. The other fun part...feedings take about an hour...and actually, if I didn't force her to unlatch, it seems like she would just live like a tumor permanently attached to my breast. Instead I listen to the nurses in the hospital and nurse her for 15-20 minutes on each side, then lay her back down.
Right around now is also the first time I think...this is natural? What did women do millions of years ago? Before there were lactation consultants and books and internet articles...I mean, here you are, prehistoric woman, you've just pushed out this baby, you know you need to feed it...but why on god's green earth would you wake it up when it's sleeping? Doesn't the baby know when it needs to eat? Won't it cry? What kind of system is this?
The second time I realized that breastfeeding sucked was the day I left the hospital. Here I am, dutifully waking this contented child every three hours, when suddenly she starts giving me major hunger cues. She's smacking her lips, turning her head, opening and closing her mouth, eating her hands, and, if I ignore it any longer than that, screaming her head off. She does this...all night long. I fed my baby, literally, from midnight to eight a.m. I watched TV, I surfed the internet, I ate (all clumsily and one-handed mind you.) I only stopped when I walked into the bedroom with the baby draped in my arms, tears and snot running down my face, and scared the crap out of Dave by screaming "Oh my god, I can't do this anymore!!!!"
I called my friend Lori (god bless you girlfriend). I called the lactation helpline at the hospital. Finally, Dave called the pediatrician. The nurse at the latter's office informed us that a feeding should take no longer than 3-5 minutes (warning...FALSE...even at 6 weeks) and that if she couldn't get what she needed in that time then I should supplement. Oh dear lord, did I cry. I had STARVED my baby. All night long. She probably nearly died. Where the hell is that sample of formula I received in the mail? Where's that bottle from the baby shower? How the hell do you do this? You see, I had never planned on giving my baby formula. But here I was now, first full day home from the hospital, and she SCARFED that bottle down. That's it. I have no milk. I am a TOTAL FAILURE as a mother.
The lactation consultant calls back. She really really wants me to go to a support group. Like, today. Now mind you, I...just got home. I've...been up all night. I...don't even know if I can dress myself, much less get the baby in the car and go somewhere. But Dave and I pack our new family up and trek out to mission hills for this lactation group where I learn the mantra of all lactation consultants..."THIS IS NORMAL." Every problem I have brought to any lactation consultant is always met with that response. It's normal. And in this case, the baby is trying to 'jumpstart my system', so to speak. She recommends we rent some movies, order pizza, and strap ourselves in for another night of the same. I am astonished that someone has actually told me to, essentially, just suck up and deal.
But, I am a stubborn b**ch. I remind myself of the 30-odd reasons breastfeeding is so rad for your child. And I do it again. All...night...long. We finally pack her in the car at 6am and drive around for two hours while she sleeps. And I sleep. We drive through starbucks and grab breakfast sandwiches. We get home, gently lift her out of the car, tiptoe into the house, set her oh so lightly down in the bedroom, crawl into bed, aaaannnddd...she wakes up.
The next few weeks were kind of a haze. Things eventually got better...although feedings were still painfully frequent and long. The nipple pain, on the other hand, *did* ease up. And it is true what you read, that a good latch really ensures that it doesn't hurt at all...*after* your nipples have indeed, 'toughened up'. Eva eventually figured out that night is night and day is day. I went to A LOT of lactation support groups. Sometimes 3 a week. I listened to most, but not all, of what they say.
Fast forward to today. Eva goes to sleep every night around 10 or 10:30. She sleeps until 3...a few times, she has slept until FIVE!! She wakes again at 6, then 8, then 10, and some days, I can get her to sleep until noon. I have only just now started to not sleep next to her in an exhausted heap. Now I can actually wake up and have mommy time (as you can see from my recent posting times, I also get some mommy time at night too). Once she's up, she feeds often. Almost every hour. Luckily, feedings only take about 10 minutes now. Then, around 7:30 or 8, she gets FUSSY. She wants to nurse constantly (oh the flashbacks to the early days) and even that does not satisfy her. She pulls off the breast and SCREAMS. I burp her, I latch her back on, she does okay for a while, and then...SCREAMS. At this point, we have learned enough tricks to get her (and us) through to about 9:45, when we bathe her, change her into her PJs, and she nurses herself to sleep.

Here's my advice to anyone considering breastfeeding:

See a lactation consultant. As soon as possible. Inquire if they have one at the hospital, and try to see them while you are in recovery. Listen to some, but not all, of what the lactation consultant says. You have to do what works for you, momma.

See your pediatrician. They will most likely tell you the complete opposite of what the LC tells you. I tend to listen more to the LC, but the pediatrician is also helpful.

Try to brace yourself for the amount of time you will spend feeding your child. It is unbelievable, at least in the early early days, how much of your life is dedicated to it.

Try to give up on your individuality for a time. This was a hard battle for me. As the LC once said to me, you're not really apart yet...you're a dyad...a two-sided system. Kind of like having your own little parasite. You may think you have your autonomy back after spending 9 months dedicated to this other little person. I am here to tell you...no.

Mentally tell everyone who tells you to "just enjoy this time with your baby" and "it will get better" to sit and spin. And then, enjoy your baby...because it really does get better. I am hoping it gets better still, but even now I have learned to enjoy lying around gazing into Eva's eyes as she nurses next to me on the bed and we fall asleep together.

Finally, if you know me, call me. I will totally understand, and I will happily vent with you about how much...breastfeeding sucks!!!

Eva Pauline Snyder

2009-08-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay, folks! Here are some pics of our recent life with our beautiful girl. She is NOT easy, but in between the crying and fussing there are glimpses of a joyous life with our first daughter...

Click here to view the slideshow, including some SUPER flattering pics of yours truly.

Stats:

Born July 3, 2009 at 2:34am.

8lbs2oz, 20 inches long.

Reddish-blonde (!) hair, gray-blue eyes.

About 9.5 hours of labor, start to finish. All natural, no epidural, no doctor! (See previous post..)

Now I know why they call it labor...

2009-08-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

NOTE: I started this post on July 7th, with my copious free time since the baby was keeping me up ALL NIGHT LONG with marathon nursing sessions (another post about that later). This is how long it has taken me to finish it...

July 2nd

4:45 pm...Dave has been trying to "time my contractions" for days. Every time I mention I feel a bit "crampy" he notes the time and then hounds me about whether I think I feel something else. I tell him he's crazy...it's like trying to time regular old period cramps. Now, though, we are in the car after a quick trip to Home Depot and something feels...different. This one has a slightly more definite beginning and end. I mention it. My dutiful husband notes the time.

We just bought two hydrangea plants in the back seat that I need to get in the ground.

5:20 pm...Dave is messing with the outdoor electrical outlet stuff he just bought at the store. I am shoveling dirt for the hydrangeas and feel it again. Dave makes another mental note.

5:50-7:45...Two hydrangeas planted. Dave makes tacos. The cramping is still happening off and on, but the pain level is nothing compared to what any girl might feel at that "time of the month." Nonetheless, since they have not stopped coming, I decide I should lay down and see if they go away. This is how all the books say you can tell the difference between "real" and "false" labor pains. Dave comes in with the stopwatch!

7:45-8:45...Dave starts recording the time each cramp starts and its duration. Soon we realize that they are close to five minutes apart and last anywhere from 40 seconds to 1 min 20 seconds. All the instructions we received about when to go to the hospital cite the 5-1-1 rule. We should go in when contractions are 5 min apart, 1 min in length, for 1 hour. So at 8:45 we jump in the car and head to St. Joe's.

9:00...Just missed going in the front door at the hospital. We are around back at the ER. On arrival I present my "fast pass" card and get the VIP wheelchair treatment straight up to labor & delivery. Dave and I are joking with each other, talking to the orderly--I definitely do not look like a panicked woman in labor. I could have just taken the elevator, for god's sake.

The nurses in L&D take one look at me and don't even put us in a real delivery room. We are right off the nurse's station, and they hook me up to a fetal monitor and start monitoring the contractions. Dave and I are chatting leisurely with Lisa, our nurse, about the various machines and numbers and what it all means. It is here that I finally become more aware of the sensation of "contracting". I don't know if it's because the pressure monitor sits on top of your very pregnant belly and I started concentrating there or what, but now I can feel that it is not just a period cramp with a definitive beginning and end...I can feel the contractions around my entire belly.

11:00pm...After about an hour and a half on the bed, uncomfortable and unable to get up without undoing two monitors and a blood pressure cuff, the nurse asks if I would rather go home. She is sure I have hours and hours of labor in front of me and suggests that a natural childbirth can be easier to labor out in the comfort of one's own home. Dave and I mull it over and decide to leave the hospital. She says to pay less attention to the duration and length of time between...but to come back when I can no longer walk or talk during a contraction.

11:15pm...In the drive thru lane at Taco Bell...because nachos "just sound good for some reason" to my husband (this happens so often that I love that he still presents it like it's some sort of mystery). My instincts tell me I should not eat TB right now. Turns out I was right...

July 3rd

11:30pm-12:30am...Lying in bed at home. These no longer feel like period cramps. I have to breathe through them, without question. They are coming faster now, maybe even every three minutes. Dave is looking more and more worried. He keeps making statements like "I don't think I can carry you to the car if need be..." Thanks dear, I really need reminding that I am a giant whale at the moment. At some point I decide that I should get up and walk around, to try to see if they will lessen or go away (In other words, I still think it might be false labor). I think I am going into shock because my teeth won't stop chattering. At one point, I am pacing the hallway when one hits and not only can I not walk, but it's a good thing Dave is there for me to grab both shoulders and moan into his shirt.

12:31am...Leave for hospital.

1:00am...I am in a "real" room now, having had enough of a look of terror and pain on my face for the nurses to accept that I really am in labor this time. I am 5cm dilated. Dave has run back to the car for the cord blood kit and the nurse is tying me up to all the machines and asking me funny questions like whether I am afraid to go home with my husband. Sadly I realize that we now have to make sure that new mothers are not in an abusive environment...

At this point...labor feels like...well, a 7 out of ten. I can feel the pressure of the cervix widening with every contraction, even though I have never been consciously aware of my cervix in my life. It feels like something is literally "opening"...something that I would prefer would just stay the hell closed...because it freaking hurts.

2:10am??...I think about giving up on natural childbirth (NCB). I think about all the times I have heard that the epidural drugs do not pass to the baby, cannot harm the baby, make no difference to the baby. I think about how disappointed my mother and father will be. I think about how I will feel afterward, whether I will ever forgive myself. I ask the nurse to check me, just to get an idea of how much further I have to go. I am 8 cm dilated. She looks mildly surprised. She leaves to page the doctor.

2:20am??...That's it. I can't do this anymore. Every contraction has me frantically writhing on the table. I grab the handholds that are above my head and thrash my legs out beneath me. I look NOTHING like the crunchy granola women in the NCB videos. F**k lamaze...I can barely remember to breathe much less breathe in a pattern. Dave is wonderful, and trying to help, but at one point he tries to get me to look into his eyes and I CANNOT. I cannot look at him. I think I will kill him if I look at him GET OUT OF MY FACE. Where is the f-ing nurse because I need an epidural, no human being should have to endure this.

I am 10cm dilated. The nurse calls me a "superstar". She leaves to page the doctor again.

2:30am...I can feel the baby moving down the birth canal. It feels like she is sliding down my spine and...pardon me, but...past my butt. After multiple attempts to page the doctor, the nurse has now called in the respiratory therapist and is standing watch over me with Dave. With each contraction she orders me not to push. In the middle of each contraction, every fiber of my being tells me to push. The only thing the nurse says to me that makes any difference is that when I hold my breath to push, I am cutting off the baby's air supply. This happens for about 3 contractions. I begin to wonder why I can't push, as I am fully dilated...isn't it over? Isn't it TIME?!?!?! The nurse reminds me that she cannot perform an episiotomy, that if I let the baby crown a few more times it will naturally stretch out the tissues. Also, she is not sure she knows how to collect the cord blood for our particular kit. Then, in the 20-30 seconds or so I now have between contractions...this conversation plays out:

Me: If the doctor were here, would I be pushing now?

Nurse Lisa: Oh, yes.

Me: Can you deliver this baby?

Nurse Lisa: Oh, sure. Not a problem.

Me (in my head): Well then, SCREW THIS.

On the next contraction, I do whatever I want. AND THAT IS PUSH.

Now, if you have ever watched a birthing video, you will know that the baby's head is supposed to come out, go back in, come out, go back in, finally come out, the doctor suctions out the nose a little, then at the next contraction the shoulders pop out and finally, the baby is born. This is not what happened. What happened here is that, in one contraction, having only seen the very very top of her head on the contraction before, I pushed that little girl out so fast the nurse and Dave had to catch her before she ended up on the floor. It is 2:34am.

2:35am...The doctor arrives.

And that's it. Aside from alot of stitching, a little bit of shaking (shock I think), a very delirious me asking the nurse (just to make sure) that it was indeed over, that was it. They put my baby on my chest...it felt completely surreal (still does, most of the time) and life went on...

...or began, if you will.

FINALLY!

2009-06-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

Wow...the day is finally here...no, not the baby, sillies---the big reveal of the baby's room!

I am very happy with the way it turned out. I love the big, bright shapes on the wall and in the fabric. It feels very fun and stimulating during the day but at night all the small-scale lighting makes it really cozy too. Storage seems decent, although I'm sure I'll have stuff bursting at the seams before I know it. My favorite item has got to be my mom's rocking chair. All the other personal items from my childhood also make it feel like home.

Here's a quick rundown of sources:

Rocking Chair Hand-me-down
Rug FLOR
Crib & Dresser USA Baby-Muniré Urban Collection
Crib Set Glenna Jean Breeze
Storage Unit IKEA Expedit
Storage Boxes (Grey/Pink) Lowe's
Yellow Lamp Daylab.com
Brown Lamp IKEA
Lampshades IKEA
Grey Wall Lamp IKEA
Changing Table & Cover Babies R' Us-Boppy
Fabric Calico Corners
Hamper Home Decorator's Collection
I Like To Rock Print Etsy
Closet Storage Hanger Babies R' Us-Koala Baby
Diaper 'Fat' Plaque Gift

Click here to see the slideshow.

P.S. I also just posted some pics on ratemyspace, if you'd like to show some love over there!

Update

2009-06-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

Saw the doctor this morning. Everything looks good, cervix is "softer", even *SLIGHTLY* dilated (I couldn't even get her to commit to a centimeter), baby estimated at around 7.5 to 8 lbs. I told her I did not want to induce unless it was truly medically necessary, and she gave me until Sunday night at 8pm, at which point I will be one week overdue.

So, continuing to walk my 2 miles every day (I even lost a pound this week-HA) and we'll see when this chick decides to hatch--maybe the 4th of July?!?!?

40 weeks

2009-06-28T14:12:00.001-07:00

Yup, that's right. According to my doctor's latest proclamation, I'm due today (and not Tuesday, as I originally thought). My next appointment is on Tuesday, where we will again discuss inducing labor. So we'll see what this week brings. Meanwhile I am trying to coax this girl into making an appearance by walking two miles every day and soaking everything I eat with balsamic vinegar.

Here is a super cool movie my friend Vicki put together by photographing me every day at work, starting at about 4.5 months, I think.

Nursery pics...later today???

38 weeks

2009-06-17T15:58:00.001-07:00

The smile on my face in this photo is SO misrepresentational.

I'm huge.

I'm over pregnancy.

I can't sleep.

I can't concentrate.

I'm freaked out.

I'm not ready.

Whose idea was this anyway?

Plague & Project

2009-06-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

First, a quick apology for the lack of posts. Dave gave me the plague and I've been pretty much non-existent for the last week (yes, I blame him). I promise the big reveal of the nursery is coming...(if anyone still cares at this point!) The last step is picking up the rocking chair from my Mom's house.

Meanwhile I thought I would share a little project we tackled in the laundry room. That space is getting an overhaul as well before the little one comes. So far we have painted, installed more shelving in the closet, and managed to store the ironing board and iron on one wall (as opposed to over the door in the baby's room, where it previously lived).

We also found a solution for a problem I'm sure many of you share, if you happen to live with cats. That's right---the litter box. Not only is it smelly and gross, but especially since we installed the wood flooring throughout the house, the litter has been getting tracked EVERYWHERE. I mean, you could walk in the front door and be greeted by it, and the box lives at the opposite end of the house. So, having been inspired by multiple executions chronicled on the internet, we now have a cabinet that looks like this:

With an opening like this on the side:

And I'll bet you can guess what's in it!

We also switched to recycled newspaper pellets instead of the traditional "cat sand" to cut down on the tracking even more. So far, so good! Only a few pellets here and there in the laundry room. And much less stinky!

Threeeee Sneaky Peeky

2009-05-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

See...I told you we made progress. There's a crib! With a mattress! And bedding!

The only thing left is sewing the panels for the closet, and that will get done this weekend (no really!).

PS. How cute is the yellow and green gingham checked quilt I had when I was a baby? I love it.

This N That

2009-05-28T16:21:00.001-07:00

Only one thing left to do in baby's room and we're ready to reveal---I swear! I thought this might tide you over until then!

Lots of little changes here and there around the house lately. This would be the first one you notice--on your way in we have added this runner from FLOR. I can't tell you how many times I've thumbed through their catalog--now we've actually purchased something! It was so easy to assemble with their FLORdot system. I swear it took 5 minutes, and with a Schnauzer in my way no less. There might be another one of these in the house somewhere, but you'll have to wait for the grand reveal of baby's room to find out for sure!

Continuing inside, you might notice the refurbished chair in its rightful position, next to the fireplace in the living room.

Make your way into the hallway, and we've added framed pictures. The frames I already had, because I can never pass up the Aaron Bros 1 cent frame sale (don't you always end up with an odd amount of frames too?). It was so easy to order the sepia-toned prints from Shutterfly. They came right to the house for about $15 for all three.

What's that? A new bedding set? Thank you citibank for the gift card to Macy's! Thank you Uncle Sam for the rest...

Also in the bedroom we've added this print of the City of Los Angeles (a little ironic since we don't technically live in it) courtesy of Lori Campos!

On the opposite wall, a print I picked up from Tiny Showcase gives new life to an old frame with a new matte from Aaron Bros, some groovy candleholders, and our wedding photo. Oh, and of course the ubiquitous cat bed.

35 weeks

2009-05-26T15:52:00.001-07:00

Mother's log. 35 weeks. Feel like ticking time bomb. My cousin's wife gave birth Sunday, leading to the inevitable realization that it's my turn next. She had a very healthy baby boy, by the way, weighing in at 9 lbs 12 oz, named Wesley Michel Hoffer. Yay!

That's only 3 oz more than I weighed at birth. And man that boy had a big head. Sorry, Mom. I hear payback's a b****h too. Why did I marry someone 6'3" again?

Saw the doctor this morning. All is fine, and we liked her a lot...seems very open to natural childbirth, but insists that I have an IV and constant fetal monitoring, which of course will make it harder to move around.

We got a lot accomplished this weekend--just look at all those "(DONE!)'s" in my list!--stay tuned for more posts of stuff around the house!

I love him, I love him, I love him...

2009-05-22T18:24:00.000-07:00

I am not one to say things lightly. Yes, sometimes I exaggerate for emphasis, but if you were to ask me, say, "Hey Mary, is that the BEST CAKE you've ever had in your life?!?!?!", then I will think long and hard and give you my honest answer. Well, wait, what about that cake Kristin made that one time...that was pretty damn excellent...or no, the one my grandma used to make....yeeeaaahhh that's the best...and I will tell you no, sorry, your cake is not the best cake I've ever had, although it is pretty darn good. Here's a tissue, go try again...this time add more chocolate.

So my husband got his Bachelor's Degree in Business Management from CSUN on Wednesday, and you can know I'm not just being complementary when I say that I have never been more proud of someone's achievement IN MY WHOLE LIFE. Really.

I know a lot of you watched it from the outside and thought, wow, that's probably not easy on either of them. (You're right, it wasn't.) Many of you expressed your support, and told Dave to keep up the good work, and we thank you so much for that. Some of you probably thought we were outright crazy or wasting our time, and that's alright, because the thought crossed our minds too...ummm, a few times...;-)

To have it all behind us is...almost incomprehensible. Dave took his first class at LA Valley College in the Fall of '03. "You know, I really regret that I never got my bachelor's degree," he said. I naively replied with something like, "Well, duh, then...go take some classes. See if you even like it. You'll never finish if you don't start." I remember he looked at me as if to say---you make it sound so simple...

For those of you paying attention, that is before we got married. We celebrated our anniversary in February, which means that the first 5 years of our marriage have involved my Husband being in school, to some degree. That first semester was just one class...the next was two...and so it continued until we both just said "LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH!" and he transferred to CSUN as a full-time student.

Not to be overly dramatic, but Dave's story really gets to me. I won't get into it too much, because I'm not sure he wants it broadcasted on the internet...but he's overcome a lot of obstacles to get here. His story makes me think of everyone who longs for something seemingly impossible to them. I guess it's just one of millions about wistfully thinking about a goal for so long, hammering away at it, wanting to give up, putting one foot in front of the other, and then finally achieving it.

I know there are people out there, those who hold degrees and those who don't, who wonder what the point of it is. I did too. I remember once asking the same thing of my Mom (shortly after my own graduation)...something along the lines of "Shouldn't I go cure cancer now or something?" (I felt a little guilty knowing I wanted a career as a graphic artist with a degree from Cornell.) I remember the gist of her answer so well. It went something like, "Mar...we didn't send you here so you could get the right job, or make lots of money. We sent you here because you needed to go. Because you grew, and you changed, and you are a fuller, happier person. And you didn't just learn about art, or english, or history, or philosophy...you have learned how to LEARN, and that will never stop."

You can roll your eyes now...but I believe in it (education as religion...hmmmm...), and I believe in people fulfilling the goals in their heart, and I don't think I could have endured the last five years if I didn't ;-)

Baby, you just made the best damn 6 year cake. Ever.

Snyder Shower!

2009-05-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Yay! Snyder shower! My totally awesome sister-in-law Ellie and her cohort, my other awesome SIL Joanne put together this lovely co-ed shower for Dave and I. It was a great time, as always when we are at their house...;-)

Among the highlights were the taco truck, their beautiful new kitchen, seeing the newlyweds Doug and Theresa (who flew in that morning from their wedding in Hawaii AND attended a christening beforehand--TROOPERS!), all my fabulous nieces and nephews (even the ones who are 26..HA!), the snyder fam and many many good friends!

Thanks everyone for helping us get ready for our girl. We REALLY appreciate all of your support!

Chair Transformation

2009-05-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

The story of this chair began a few years ago in a shop in Pasadena. Forgive me for not remembering the name now...

I think I picked it up for around $125. He was hiding in the back room, and I only saw him as we were really about to leave the store. The finish was cracked and faded and it had no webbing and no upholstery...a sad little guy in a boutique of otherwise gorgeous vintage furniture.

I took him home with a very gung-ho attitude about stripping the finish, redoing the webbing, and sewing cushions. And I did redo the webbing (the before pic is after I had him home a bit) and make cushions (in fact I might post a little tutorial on that process), but it never quite lived up to its potential.

Until now.

Doesn't he look gorgeous?!?! This isn't his final spot in the house (he'll actually be in the living room, and my mom's rocking chair goes where he is now in the baby's room), but you can still see the transformation of the chair.

Special thanks to David of silicathree.com. Check out his website full of gorgeous restored Danish Modern furniture. He and his awesome crew took the frame of this chair from drab to fab in about three days. The cushions are still the ones I threw together a few years back, and the pillow is from the interwebs. Can't remember the name of that place either! Bad blogger!

Work Shower!

2009-05-15T14:33:00.001-07:00

My work shower was my only all-girl shower and it was awesome. Champagne cocktails at Kristin's house and the super ladies of New Wave! Thank you gals all so much for the love and support. I am so grateful to work with such wonderful peeps...

Click here to see all the pics (from cameraphones, sorry!) on Shutterfly.

Twooooo Sneaky Peeky

2009-05-11T18:34:00.001-07:00

Well, it's not quite ready for prime time yet but it is getting sooooo close. Here's another taste to keep you interested...

Here's WHAT'S DONE:

Walls are painted
Crib and dresser are in
I've put away 2/3 of our shower gifts
Done my first load of "baby laundry" (yes, I cried)

Here's WHAT'S LEFT:

Put away shower gifts from Hoffer Shower
Add rocking chair
Sew closet door panels
Add rug? (not sure)
Add toy storage
Lamps
Wall hooks, etc...

Stay tuned!

Good news!

2009-05-07T14:32:00.001-07:00

I don't have gestational diabetes! Yay! Didn't want to alarm anybody, but I had to undergo a few tests last week as the doctor was concerned about the protein levels in my...ahem...urine. So I did the 3 hour fasting blood sugar test (which is pretty standard in the last trimester) and another test that was kind of embarassing...I had to collect ALL OF MY PEE into a container for 24 hours. Sexy, right?

Anyway I was pretty nervous that something might be wrong, because I felt really gross in the middle of the 3 hour test, and all the other pregnant ladies in the lab seemed fine (just annoyed that we all had to sit there and get poked with a needle every hour). Went to the doctor yesterday and got a clean bill of health. All sugar levels normal, no proteins in the pee. We are go for launch.

In seven weeks.

Hoffer Shower

2009-05-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

Our first shower! It was lovely...many many many thanks to my awesome cousin Kristin and my Mom for all their hard work. We are having two co-ed showers (for both sides of our families) and one girly one with the ladies at my work (pics from that one later).

The day was beautiful--the kind of perfect southern California day that people move here for. We got so many great gifts for the little one, and we really enjoyed ourselves at the party. Couldn't ask for anything more!

Click here to view the full photostream on shutterfly.

Totally Off Topic

2009-05-04T12:18:00.001-07:00

This has nothing to do with pregnancy or the house, but I had to share. I love pets who don't know they're pets. This cat obviously thinks he's a cross between an Egyptian king and a 6-month old child.

Thank you, funny lady from Diamond Bar, for the laughs.

Nursery Sneak Peek!

2009-04-28T18:50:00.001-07:00

Just a teaser of what's to come. If you look really closely at the pic on the left you can see the outline drawn on the blue wall (click the pic to enlarge). And don't you LOVE how the grey contrasts with the closet doors?

I can't believe I am finally down to the REALLY REALLY fun part...and as I shone the projector all over the different walls and shlepped up and down the ladder tracing giant flowery shapes on the walls with a pencil...I realized that this room is all about me. The little girl will probably grow up to be as creative as a CPA (no offense to the number crunchers out there). I hope she is inspired, and feels free to create and draw outside the lines, but even if she just feels cozy and at home with her crazy nut of a mom who spent 36 hours painting her dang room...fine with me. ;-)

Sick of me yet? (31 weeks)

2009-04-28T18:44:00.001-07:00

More pics of my expanding belly. Luckily, I still fit behind Lauren's head. Handy for when I have to be all ninja-like...which is often.

Crib is in!

2009-04-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

No, it's not her room. But it is her furniture! Just got a call that it's in at the warehouse. The nice part is they'll hold it for me until I'm done painting the room. It wound up being the best of both worlds.

I also found this pretty cool online room planner at one of the baby sites. It's a little buggy, but it allowed me to come up with an approximate layout of her room. Before you all write to tell me that the closet bumps into the rocking chair, you should know that that side of the closet is still devoted to our stuff. Yes, we are already horrible selfish parents and she can't even have a whole closet to herself. It's all things that we don't use THAT often, but still can't bear to part with...and seasonal clothing like heavy jackets. So that side of the closet won't be open too often.

Starting at the chair and going clockwise--that's her crib, then some sort of open bookcase with bins for toy and book storage, then the diaper disposal system, her changing table (which is just a double dresser with a changing pad on it), and her hamper. I also am thinking there will be a rug in the middle of the room...but the buggy online layout tool decided to stop working before I got that far. The nerve.

Ready For the Fun Part...

2009-04-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

Closet door...check.

Crown molding...check.

Flooring...check.

Quarter-round shoe molding...check.

All installed and painted and ready for the fun stuff! Stay tuned...

Diaper Cake

2009-04-24T18:22:00.001-07:00

I made a diaper cake! Out of rubber bands, scotch tape, and one box of size 2 pampers (including the box!) Let's hope it holds together long enough for 3 showers, especially since you're really supposed to make it with a glue gun.

The Saga of The Closet

2009-04-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

The closet doors are in and painted. The hardware is installed and if I do say so myself, they look pretty awesome. The next step is to sew the fabric panels that will hang inside the windows to hide all the mess.

It was ALOT of painting. 10 windows on each door x 2 doors x 2 sides x 3 coats. Not pretty. By the end, I was bored and irritated and Dave had to remind me that it was all for the little one. At this point, her first words had better be "Mommy, I love my room. You are the bomb. Oh, and Dad is cool too."

Funny thing about writing a blog--it's a great way to keep track of time. For example, I know that on March 9th, our closet was installed...and the doors were working. All that was left was to cut off the shims, reinstall the casing, and paint. March 9th.

Here's a lesson in marital bliss for you...sometimes you just have to laugh at it all. Let me preface this by saying that Dave is awesome and I love every minute of our craziness...and that I am just as capable of playing out the following scenario (if not moreso) as he is. To let you in on all the fun, I am about to totally steal my friend Cindy's writing style and break it down for you convo-style:

(During the original setting of the door, after about 30 minutes of helping Dave insert shims and dutifully following his lead)

ME: I know I don't really know as much about this as you do, but I keep thinking if we just cut one inch or so off the bottom of the right side door jamb it will help alot.

HIM: Pfft. No. That will totally throw off the whole door. And the time-space continuum. You are so wrong.

ME: Right, right. Sorry.

(Two weeks later)

HIM: The plumber came today. He looked at the door.

ME: Oh yeah? What did he think?

HIM: He said it looked good, but I should just put a few more shims in here, here, and here to get rid of some gaps.

ME: Oh okay. I'll pick some up.
(One week later)

He inserts a shim. Undoes a screw. Inserts another shim. Checks for level. Stands back, inserts another shim.

HIM: Okay try the doors.

I do. They don't close.

HIM: What the (expletive deleted) is wrong with this (expletive deleted) door? Where's my (expletive deleted) Sawz-All?

ME: (Inner voice) Crap.

ME: (Outer voice) Um, I think it's in the garage again.

He cuts through screws with the Sawz-All. He inserts more shims. He checks for level and plumb. He inserts new screws.

HIM: Ok. Try the door again.

I do. It still doesn't close.

HIM: (Expletive Deleted)! I need more shims.
(This past weekend...with two new packs of shims in hand. Mostly a repeat of the weekend before...lots of moving around screws and shims...he finally gets the doors to close about as good as they did four weeks ago...and then this...)

HIM: You know, I think if we had just cut off an inch or so on the bottom of the right side it would have come out alot better.

I cried a little.

Baby Daddies

2009-04-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me this a while back and it just came up in conversation again. Have I mentioned Dave has a pretty sensitive gag reflex? Good thing we have full face masks already.

27 weeks

2009-03-31T21:04:00.000-07:00

Ok so last time I promised to post about all the positive aspects of being pregnant. There actually are some, I swear! Top of the list has to go to #1...You get a baby at the end. Here's the rest:

#2...Hair and nail growth. Long, thick, awesome.

#3...Built-in excuses. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just feel kinda sad, so hug me. All these go over easier now and our needs (mine and baby's) are (usually) met faster. ;-)

#4...Sappiness. You can call it a mood swing if you like. But when a radio dedication from a mom to her daughter makes me ball like a 4 year old who just lost their favorite toy (and seriously, I'm talking snot-filled, out-of-breath, chest-racking, whiny sobs here), it's only because I realize what an incredible journey Dave and I are about to embark on. Without this baby, there would be less stress. But without this baby, there are also no bedtime stories, skinned knees, questions about life, and family vacations. I am almost crying just writing this number now. My point is, it's easy to forget the important things in life sometimes (even if you never plan on having children). Pregnancy gives you a lot of moments to remember. Maybe I should have titled this one "Perspective" instead. Ok, moving on...

#5...Yoga. Never really gave it a good try before now. I'm enjoying it, and I love my teacher...so NOT the overwhelming pseudo-religious chakra type.

I just realized that I think this list is just as long as my list of complaints. So see, that's why I usually answer "I feel fine," when people ask. Because I do. And I am.

Registering

2009-03-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

I realize I never wrote a post about creating our baby registry. I would estimate that I spent a total of about 20-30 hours on it--so I think I needed a break from thinking about it, honestly.

I told my Mom it's like trying to buy a car without knowing how to drive. I think it might be worse than that though. Maybe it's like...prepping to climb Mt. Everest without knowing what a mountain is.

Simple things like "The baby needs clothes" become hours-long research projects into "How long do kids stay in onesies?", "Do I really need snaps on the side?", and then of course, "Did I register for enough clothes or too many?" "The baby needs to eat" becomes "How many bottles will I need?" "What kind of bottles are best?" "Will my baby be colicky?" "How do I store breastmilk?" "Will this pump last?" "How should I clean the bottles?" "Is the dishwasher OK to use?" "Do I have to sterilize the bottles EVERY time?" Don't even get me started on cribs (still haven't found the right one), changing tables (or a hutch? hmm....), strollers, bedding, toys, bathing, bouncers, swings, playyards, etc. etc. etc....

At this point, I won't even attempt to answer the above questions in this blog...I'd probably embarrass myself and expose my vast under-preparedness for this endeavor. I have found my own answers for now (thank you everyone and every website that helped me). But ask me in a year, I'm sure I'll be an expert.

Daunting? Yes. Exciting? You bet. ;-)

Hallelujah

2009-03-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

The floors ARE DONE. I mean, aside from the occasional piece of transition molding here and there, DONE. Aside from installing and caulking and painting copious amounts of baseboard and shoe molding, DONE.

The house...is still a wreck. Although every weekend it gets a little better. The pics are from our bedroom as it is one of the only rooms that is totally and completely done...and clean. I liken our house now to one of those puzzles where you have to move the squares around until you can get the ball to come out of one end. I strategically plan every step around how much STUFF is in the way. Right now things are kind of held up by the baby's closet not being ready for occupancy. So....that stuff is all over her room. Also, the garage is a MESS, so some stuff that would normally go out there is inside the house. Aah, the joys of living in 800 sqft.

24 weeks

2009-03-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

People often ask me how I'm feeling. My standard answer is "Great!" or "Fine!". That's not to say that I feel no difference between being pregnant and not, but I honestly think I'm having a relatively easy time with this (knock on some giant block of wood.) I also have a tendency to minimize my own discomfort.

So, for those of you dying to know what I have to complain about, here goes...with slightly less courage than my friend Cindy, a fellow blogger who delivered triplets. Some things, ladies, you'll just have to find out for yourselves (or come ask me in person.)

#1...I pee. A LOT. This is actually what made me suspect I was pregnant to begin with. It happened almost immediately. Almost everyone knows that this comes along with pregnancy, but I don't think you can truly appreciate how annoying it is until you've woken up for the fifth time in the middle of the night and prayed that you can fall back asleep without schlepping your belly into the bathroom again. I also have a tremendous amount of guilt about how often I flush the toilet in our drought-ridden state. It's seriously like 18 times a day.

#2...I drool while sleeping. Attractive, I know. Apparently your body cannot discriminate about which parts get to play the "extra fluids!" game.

#3...If I sit or lay down for too long in any position that is JUST SLIGHTLY not perfect, the back left side of my pelvis goes on vacation. It's having little drinks with umbrellas in them somewhere while I attempt to stand up and walk. I look like an elderly woman and scoot along an inch at a time until it decides to come back and join the party.

#4...Muscle cramps. In my legs...in my feet...in my stomach.

and #5...My a@# is expanding. I'm sure it's not done either.

Here is where other women who have previously been or currently are pregnant make voodoo dolls of me and stick pins in them. That's really all I've got. I never threw up (although I was nauseous pretty much all day long) and the worst part of all this for me so far was the INCREDIBLE fatigue I felt in the first trimester. My life consisted of sleeping, working, sleeping, working, sleeping, working. It was all I could manage. I've heard that may come back in the third and I shudder to think of it. It was truly depressing.

Maybe next week I'll post about all the good side effects of pregnancy. Um...yeah.

Progress!

2009-03-09T13:49:00.001-07:00

We've made progress on the baby's room! I know it's not very clear without a before picture, but these are the new floors we're laying and we've even got the new closet door in!

I'm really excited about how the closet doors turned out...WAY better than the ugly old bifold doors we had installed a few years ago. They were cumbersome and never anything CLOSE to being level. Dave informs me it's because we had a fight and he left me to do it by myself. How quickly I forget. ;-) I have to give Dave all the credit this time, as he really did a great job getting this door (which we ordered 1 inch too wide really) to be as level as possible inside the rough opening...in our crooked house. I give myself credit for not picking a fight...so HA.

The floors might not seem like much to you, but to us it means we're 3/4 of the way done re-flooring the whole house...all we have left is our bedroom and the hallway. We're hoping to get that done next Friday and Saturday, as Sunday is reserved for SHOPPING! Well, not really shopping so much as REGISTERING!

Very excited to put the construction aside for a moment and ooh and aah over cute baby things. Who have I become?

Rate My Space

2009-03-03T14:33:00.001-08:00

Just discovered HGTV's www.ratemyspace.com. Found some inspirational pics of someone else's nursery. Check out the giant graphic shapes painted on the walls...I LOVE IT! I think I will do something similar, using the shapes from the fabric I JUST ordered (finally...yay!).

I also found a pic of someone who had done with their closet exactly what we plan to do with ours...so for any of you who thought "French doors, cafe rods? What?"....there you go. Now if only our closet looked that organized on the inside...sigh.

As always, click on the picture to see it larger.

Ultrasound

2009-02-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

Here's our ultrasound at 18 weeks...this was when we learned we were having a "girl...girl...girl..." as the doctor put it. (I think he was gathering evidence.)

The really cool part is around 7 minutes, when he does the 3D imaging part, and you can almost imagine what her cute little face is going to look like. ;-)

Baby Mood Board

2009-02-25T15:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's more fun stuff. This is my latest "mood board" for the baby's room. That's what Dave gets for impregnating a graphic designer.

People keep asking me what my "theme" is for her room...and I don't think I have one in the traditional sense...I just want everything to be fun to look at. So no jungle or marina or garden "theme", per se, just a bunch of fun patterns in green, brown, and a little blue.

Here's the lowdown. For those who do not already know, the major project in our house right now is replacing ALL the flooring with the dark wood laminate you see on the board. Also for those who do not know, my husband and I are major DIYers who have revamped nearly every square inch of our tiny little house. And don't worry, I have slowed down considerably and no longer attempt to move/lift heavy loads. The floors probably merit their own post...so more on that later.

The wall color is from Mythic Paint, which is zero-toxin stuff...so...yay!

The french doors will replace the ugly bifold doors that are currently on the closet...they have been sitting at Lowe's for three weeks now awaiting pickup. We keep not answering the phone in fear that they may confront us over this fact. We plan to get them this weekend, once the floor is done (fingers crossed.) They have glass windows in the front, and I will sew two fabric panels and stretch them between cafe rods on the back....you know, to hide the incredibly organized closet behind them.

The dresser we already own...need to add a changing table on top.

Crib, rug, and lamp would all be new...just can't contemplate going to get them until the major construction and painting are done.

22 weeks

2009-02-24T17:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I could have (should have?) started this blog a while back...for now you'll just have to settle for the abridged version of the past 5 months or so. Here goes...elation, happy tears, nausea, depressing fatigue, renewed energy, it's a girl, she's totally healthy, switching doctors, outgrowing clothes. Oh, and heartburn.

Nowadays it's pretty smooth sailing...no more depressing fatigue (although I hear that comes back...yippee!)...no more nausea...just a few more backaches (see picture on right) and a little more heartburn. Everyday brings a slightly wider waistline, and my friend Vicki has decided to document me everyday at work, so at some point there will be some awesome video of me exploding outward over nine months. Yay. (Just kidding, V, I love it ;-)

Here's a recent picture for those who cannot see the rapidly expanding waistline in person.

More updates soon!

-M.